narcissist pretending to be autistic

So i sit on my disability.. i write .. study.. take meds.. smoke some mari to help the anxiety and i just relax.

Nobody will valorize or say good things so i have to.

I probably triggered her to self-medicate.

Narcs are all about the power and putting poeple in their place i.e.

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I have no control over thiis as its the decision of the individual to decide for themselves.

I am more aware now and conclude that one or both of my parents may have been narcissistic, and one maybe HSP also, which may have brought on schizophrenic symptoms. Anyone, including a narcissist, who struggles with empathy needs to learn it by rote this way.

I can relate to much of what you have said as far as the narcissistic partner, and how it destroys the very fabric of who you are. Author clearly has major prejudice against people with narcissism. After a month or so of this I asked my son and some male friends about the remarks and they said what he was saying was disrespectful to me and I should stop seeing him.

Lol cauz if narcs feed of peoples misery i dont.

But @ times he really gets to me & upsets me with his behaviour !

Dont know what to do, just not respond to his texts or keep the dialogue going.

I may be wrong but from what I have read it appears you are still putting others ahead of your own happiness.

Its a complicated subject matter and can cause great distress.

After working with both populations, it is fair to say that people on the Spectrum are vulnerable to NPDs and it is best to educate society on the behaviours of those with NPDs. I tried to encourage him to get himself assessed but he said he didnt see the point given his age he didnt think it would be beneficial.

Clearly, aspies struggle with meeting the emotional needs of their partners.

I should be.. i dont know, depressed?

Lol how can society be prosper and happy when it is lead by monsters that work on self-destruction? Like today . I understand medication is a great deal better these days, but would it have made a difference back then, I doubt it. When I read those two lists of traits, one for autism and one for narcissism, some time ago, I felt they were a basic set.

I have a daughter that is Level 2 on the Autism spectrum. She has become calmer, I think mainly because she knows she is not alone but that she is one like many others out there.

As to your question of whether they can pick up narcissistic traits from their parents, I believe any child can pick up these traits, as children we learned a lot by copying what we saw.

You need to cut the string he has attached to you. To my mind this is what life and love is but it can also be debilitating to tender souls.

Its the largest and best appointed flat weve ever lived in, but Ive been looking for two years to move out and barely found any place that meets our standards.

Thanks so much for helping me.

It is my understanding that autism is a developmental / brain wiring difference and narcissm is a personality disorder.

Autism and a Narcissistic Personality Disorder could suit him?

A tribe can not afford narcissists which means it isnt human, of nature. For what?

Do high-functioning autistic or aspies hoover?

If you listened closely you could almost hear the choking sound in his voice when he complimented me.

Mary Hinge. He knew he wasnt marriage material which I deeply respected, mainly because he didnt want to be responsible for a wife or children.

A double minded man is unstable in all of their ways. If people have no decent care in childhood and adolescence all they can do is put themselves first and take no prisoners. And I remembered for the first time that I had been abused as a child.

Thank you James, I appreciated reading about your rather unpleasant experiences, but feel uplifted by your courage, determination and perseverance to get yourself into good and positive emotional and mental awareness . The anxiety she feels is not what normal people feel, where one can calm oneself to a certain degree.

It took me 18 months of visits to a psychologist before I could really step back and see what was happening, thats how much he screwed with my brain. I still get caught out from time to time but not often.

And it starts all over, the hurt, the misery, the messing with your brain and all the other stuff that goes on. I fell out of love about 3 years ago and only stay for financial reasons.

Webit's a vicious cycle.

A lot to learn but worth trying.

Hey everyone look my father is a liar he said he gave me x money but here the proof he never did, he used it to gamble on stock market. things like that.

Of course the house wont pass to him unless you make provision. Im trying to understand my boyfriend of one year.

And then on the flip side again, he definitely sits on the pity pot and blames others.

I am not sane and never will be but i prefer to need to feed from others happiness than the opposite.

Asperger and HFA are all Autism so they are the same, just a spectrum meaning traits that can range from mild to severe.

Narcissism is characterized by an inflated sense of Narcissists generally are not autistic. But Im sure lots of couples overcome these difficulties or learn to live around each other in less conventional ways. What does it mean when a narcissist says it is not working?

He hates being interrupted when he is doing anything, or even just thinking. They all believed that i had a magical power like a jedi and that for me everything in life was easy and that if i didnt achieve anything so far it wasnt because of theeir help or because of all my life struggle, nope i was just LAZY. My family is entirely narcissistics. Went to a specialist Doctor to be assessed and tested.

Best wishes to you.

I think these are both related to the abuse that Im sure (but without any evidence) that they received.

And yes if you can get away from the blackhole like spirit of these people you are unwittingly facilitating. Why the denial (apart from the drug industry yes but apart from that)?

Break up and never look back.

He is not classically autistic he was just diagnosed with autism 26 years ago.

Sadly I didnt realise the gift because, maybe, it could have been developed for the good of emotional difficulties, and changed understanding. Prior to 2012, people with mild symptoms, considered high functioning, were identified as having Aspergers syndrome.

Weird, but Im not complaining.

In case anyone is concerned that I lashed out in a physical or highly abusive way to this woman, that is not the case.

If they do this, then they are Narcissistic, if they dont then it is Asbergers.

Even if i explain and show how my mother tried 3 times in 15 years to push me to suicide by enabling gambling and making me have loans i didnt even want. I wonder do you feel that the more he tells you it is not working the more you want to help him because you feel he has a problem you may be able to help with?

I was never expecting her to call bank and release the other 5k in 15 minutes??? I then went looking for more information so I could understand what I was dealing with better, and found the information about her bubble situation, explained in a different way, but meaning the same thing. His was all about him, him, him, hers is more about where she belongs in this world and the bubble (as she calls it) she lives in and has to step out of to face what goes on in the rest of the world. Great info!

I made that decision and Im the happiest Ive been in all my life.

Elizabeth he is a narcissist, I lived with one for 38 years and he almost destroyed me and his family in the process of trying to be in control.

Life is for living and you are, maybe, being a host to a parasitic personality and you are beginning to become aware that it will get no better.

Yes I agree. I feel Im disabled in some way and technology isnt where I ought to be investing my time and my gifts.

Oberman, K., & Ramachandan, V. (2007, June 1). I get your point.

I honestly dont know if I would bother with therapy if not for the potential to help improve my marriage as we both move into our middle age (which Ive heard can be a turning point for many/most).

She asks.

From what you have said I can see a certain amount of manipulation going on.

Always calm.. no drama.. no.. nothing.

Not everyone wants to help like I do.

It is not 100% of course but the symptoms you describe are also expected with both low testosterone and therefore can start even before 40, but also due to head injury or events replicating the inflammation of head injury, e.g. They would constantly say im evil and i ruin everyones life and i believed them but the facts were not adding up.

Yes, it's just like having autism and OCD, or autism and social anxiety disorder: it's likely to come with the territory.

Why did I move in with her when we first met about 20 years ago? I look back now and the courage it took for me to end it was beyond me and something I have not ever regretted.

happy?! I was advised no contact is one of the best ways. I have learned people with Aspergers or autism as its now called suffer from a lot of anxiety.

were also capable of doing it unintentionally, and sometimes thats due to our autism, sometimes it isnt, and sometimes its a mixed issue.

He has not worked for 10 years now (hes 46) and I am the only person bringing in money.

Both.. one after another.. a decade in between each other.. parent tried to kill me. I feed from peoples happiness. My 28 year old brother is severely autistic.

Yes they may not realise that their emotions confuse the more normal people, but they do have a certain amount of empathy. that its my fault that bla bla.. they tortured me.. guilt trip me.. they enjoyed the god dam narcs they knew they wouldnt have more chances after THEN after days saying they had no found.. that it was useless to ask after 1 hour with me on 10 days empty stomach.. dizzy and all lost they popped food and lied telling me my other therapist was bringing me to food bank last time but i missed the appointment (trying to earn money online to eat!)

Lol but heh who knows. Good day

I havent had the courage to put myself back out there since an adult diagnosis because I want to get things right and dont feel Im ready.

Luckily the most vital ones are on the autistic spectrum. It said that in our minds we have a Mammoth. This mammoth is there telling us that we are no good, we should give in because of this or that, we should have done such and such better, I wonder what people will think of me now, etc.

I have included a link if I may that may help with some understanding of the situation.

There are many dodgy characters that aren Narcissistic or Autistic and the stigma attached is unacceptable. I have really been encouraged by reading your article and the comments different people have made.

The narcissist lacks empathy and is malicious about it. I liked him a lot and have a lot of experience regarding mental illness due to growing up with a parents affliction, but this I hadnt encountered. As you say autistic individuals are not all the same, I believe you are right and some do have a certain amount of empathy, as my daughter has and I was told by several experts that this is unusual, but then there may be others that dont exhibit much at all, so, they are said to not have any. This is not something any of my family have had to encounter before and I really struggle with it. she left. She has equal parts of autistic traits AND narcissistic traits! I was somewhat ill mentally and physically. Then I had a full-blown breakdown in my early 40s, psychiatric hospital, sledgehammer antidepressant, suicide attempts etc.

These guys generally dont learn or change. There was an element of narcissism too. I found this article really helpful and clarifying but because of my own autism, I still find it incredibly difficult to distinguish other peoples motives, especially when they seem to frequently chop and change. Hes extremely intelligent, honest and dependable.

Our story is very sad and very damaging, but we didnt know that growing up, as we had to survive our family chaos.

Do they take on some of those traits? I need context for everything to understand it. Courage my friends.xx. That i should not worry its impossible not to worry since i know and see everyday all the narcs totally unable to see the problem.. see the face in the mirror Totally blinded. But the way i dealt with my gf in the 15-22 yo period was like a true narc I behaved like my father and i couldnt stand it so after that from 22 to now.. i stayed single, no children.

In the past I have family here If he goes away camping for the weekend etc but I want to be able to have my door open for them not just on those occassions.

For example, my husband does understand social interaction, uses silent treatment and guilt to manipulate me, and I have learned that I can most definitely not say no.

I try my best with them but my psy is a narc the type of my father (he physician boss in healthcare) and my therapists most are narcs too the weak ones like my mother.

Research indicates that autism has strong connections with PTSD in two important ways.

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/narcissism-vs-aspergers-how-can-i-tell-the-difference-1114174 .

Another candidate could be Anders Breivik interestingly enough having copied and pasted bits from the unabombers manifest changing leftist to cultural marxist.

It appears mirror neurons also play a role in personality condition-related issues. I have therapists and psy because i just have no choice. This disrupts her organised thought patterns and she goes into meltdown. Life is smoother now I know where she is coming from. All I suggest Jean, is that you do as much research on both these subjects as possible to put you own mind at rest. Does he do horrible things, yes. He meets ALL the criteria.

WebTo be an effective narcissist, you have to have some excess mental energy for exploitation, and autism can be draining, so it often doesn't come in a particularly hard-hitting combo. 5. Break up and never look back. Hed tell me my emotions were too much for him while bragging all day about how well he handled

He intentionally ruined an 18 year old's party." So very saddening.

I left in her bank money for me still.. i was in shock.. i was the only one in the entire world that knew i had to run .. get rid of the money.. anything but dont leave me on my computer with 100k in bank!!! I did some research in order to give justice to this topic. Educate yourself on both afflictions, I found my final answer on a site called First Wives World if I may add this here, it was like a weight lifted from my shoulders after reading the piece of information where someone else had suffered under a narcissist. hell often make comments about other peoples teeth and how he wishes his looked like that, or says things like I bet they dont have the problems with their teeth I do..

When we returned from our trip after we had a falling out he said its just my personality to find fault with everything.

1- they had food, 2- i had asked that therapist to be registered to food bank in case for months she knew.. so no she was not bringing me anywhere.

I have a 32 year old daughter who still lives with me and has high functioning autism, her personality is nothing like his was.

Recognize that your partner may derive pleasure from hurting you. I was not doing much things wrong but they were piling up horribles moves that i started calling out.

If this fellow you have been seeing does have Aspergers as you mentioned he watches the same movie over and over, you will need to learn as much as you can about the condition to be able to understand how to handle someone with it.

I was not looking for another relationship and did not date other men as I thought I had had my chance at marriage.

That includes his dental work.

The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma, by Bessel Van Der Kolk He has recently come to terms with the fact he may have high functioning autism.

I wonder too about Aspies growing up with narcissistic parent.

Years and years of therapy and what not forced me to aknowledge that i often hurt people making them feel stupid or lowered by the way i talk about myself ad my abilities like its just pocket change normal making others feel like shit while all i was trying to do and truly was.. being humble.

It doesnt bother me at the time, but the next couple of days Im shaky inside and feel a bit sick. Am I with someone autistic, a narcissist, or both?

We then began watching a couple of DVDs, one depicting Temple Grandins life growing up and her struggle with her autism.

LadyJay you have found what I have found. Because my family were nasty game players, I became more desperate to fit in and then easier to use and manipulate. AMAZINGLY because of the way he was and because of my self medication with wine to get through this.

They are dead inside completly.

Too many underlying issues causing the mental illness, Id say. Hi Ive been married to a man for 25 yrs Im a lively & sociable 73 & hes 64 , who Ive always believed he is on the Asperger / autistic spectrum (not diagnosed ) he made me so ill with headaches & stress , & im not as vivacious as I used to be because of-my husband . It took me a lot of book reading and watching DVDs to begin to understand where my daughter was coming from and it was very much of a relief to finally understand what I was doing wrong in the way I was handling her.

I came from a home where there were lots of people always in our home and we shared everything we had. People with mental disorders, sicknesses and what not they are not going so bad because of their own the world.. society.. narcs.. healthcare.. everyone is set to destroy them and finish them off directly or indirectly pushing them to suicide.

I read the 2 columns.. autism vs narc.

There are getting to be a lot of predators out there who are weak-willed and have no self-control. So I did some ringing around different psychologist and was finally given the contact details of one that did.

Psychopaths, autism, empathy, and mirror neurons. I hate liars and evils but that i have to deal with it as everyone is around me so well ya lol.

The reason Im relating this is because whether a person is Autistic or otherwise they are people!!!!

I get silence which is painful to me but caused by his inability to communicate. Any thoughts? Autism Spectrum Disorder Doesnt understand social interactions. I think psychiatry is missing out when acting as people with autism cant have any personality disorders. I have had a life of complex PTSD from child sexual abuse too. He will pick up every small thing around the house I do, particularly when he gets stressed.

Robin.